


letters to gee

by saverockandbeebo



Category: Bandom, Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Band, Angst, Depression, Letters, M/M, Post-Break Up, Sadness, Suicide, Swearing, Tags Contain Spoilers, Tags May Change, Writing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-15
Updated: 2016-12-18
Packaged: 2018-07-24 10:56:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 20
Words: 5,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7505623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saverockandbeebo/pseuds/saverockandbeebo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I miss you, Gee.<br/>        - Patrick</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

14/9

Hey Gee,

I'm writing letters to you, but you'll never get them because I've been too busy crying lately, thanks to you.

I miss you Gerard. I really do.

You don't miss me though.

I'm sure of it.

\- Patrick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey hey hey!  
> this is my first full-length bandom fic so i hope you enjoy!  
> fyi, the dates are day/month


	2. Chapter 2

15/9

Gee,

People have been attempting to get me out of my apartment - our apartment - for a week now. I've received tons of texts from Andy and Joe and Brendon. They all want me out and into the "real world" with them.

This is the real world either way.

I haven't opened any of their texts, much less replied to any of them, just like you did to me for a whole month before you lashed out at me.

That was a whole week ago, and it's scary to even think about it.

My whole world ended seven whole days ago.

I hope yours did too.

\- Patrick

P.S: You left three of your stupid guitar picks scattered in the apartment. I put them where the rest used to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> these chapters are v short sorry  
> but then again so am i  
> also tomorrow is my birthday yeee


	3. Chapter 3

16/9

Gerard,

I took one of those picks I found yesterday and got a chain to put it on.

That's right, I went outside. 

The chain is thin and silver and shiny, and the pick is that red one that reflects in some places but not in others. It was one of your favorite picks. You used to use it for live performances at bars and bookstores and the likewise. It's got your initials on one side in Sharpie.

And now it's got a hole in it.

I feel bad about ruining one of your favorite picks, but it's become a piece of you that I can cling onto, even though the rest is gone.

Damn it, now I'm crying. 

Joe sent me some more texts. I ignored them again. From what my phone's notifications tell me, he's threatening to get Pete to "come after my ass". I don't want Pete to come after my ass, but I really don't want to talk to Joe either. In fact, I don't really want to talk to anybody 

That is, until you come back.

\- Patrick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that new fall out boy song was announced im hyped for it


	4. Chapter 4

18/9

Gee,

Sorry I missed yesterday's letter. I slept most of the day. 

Not like you'd care.

I realized that Pete hadn't sent me anything, which was pretty odd. He usually is the first one to say anything to me if he senses anything wrong. I decided I'd only text him, starting with a simple 'hello'. He almost immediately responded with a single question: "Are you okay?"

I cried over that.

I told him that I was getting "better", but I'm really not. I might not ever get "better".

Andy called three times. 

Joe sent angry texts asking why I was talking to Pete and not him and said I had loyalty issues. Oh well.

Brendon sent me some pictures. I bet they're all of cats or dogs or something like that.

This is hard. I was never good with this kind of stuff, and you know that. I really need some of your reassuring hugs right about now. They were the best.

Where are you now that I need you?

\- Patrick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes i did just quote justin bieber wanna fight   
> also i don't wanna get older tbh im fine being the age i am


	5. Chapter 5

19/9

Gee,

I have news. I don't know if it's good or bad, but I'll let you decide, even though you most likely don't care.

I'm leaving the apartment everyday starting tomorrow.

Well, maybe everyday. I can't 100% guarantee it.

Pete said that I can't stay cooped up in this apartment, and that I've gotta go somewhere. I personally don't agree, but Pete's too stubborn to disagree with, so now I have to. 

I'll wear your pick.

Wish me luck.

Ha! Like you would.

\- Patrick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> patrick is me in this chapter tbh  
> i would add all the tags now but im not done w/ this yet aaahh


	6. Chapter 6

20/9

Hey,

Turns out Pete knows me better than I thought. He took me to my favorite place to get lunch. Then he let me explain the situation without interruptions or questions or retorts. 

I'll admit, it made me feel a lot better for the moment, letting out all those pent-up emotions. 

Unfortunately, that great mood didn't last long. Brendon ran into us and bombarded me with questions, most of which I didn't answer out of discomfort. I guess Pete could tell, because he told Brendon to calm down and escorted me away. I apologized to him for the inconvenience, but he told me it wasn't my fault, so I shouldn't apologize.

Ugh, why am I even telling you, Gerard? You're not even going to read these, so why am I writing it down?

\- Patrick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last update of the day bc i gotta do stuff oh well


	7. Chapter 7

22/9

Gee,

Pete and I have become somewhat inseparable. That's how much time we've spent together.

That's how close we used to be, remember?

We go somewhere every day. Sometimes it's just the grocery store, but he manages to make me feel cheerful and joyous. I thought I never could feel those things again, but he's proven me wrong.

Pete's even offered me a place to crash in his apartment, but I politely declined. My reasoning is that I can't tell mine from yours anymore. Even though you took most of you and your things away to who knows where, the little bit that's left is enough to keep me tied to this apartment. 

How could I leave those bits of you behind? 

How could I abandon the thousands of lingering memories of you, of us?

Anyways, I haven't said anything about you to anyone else yet. I'm just not ready to bestow that information on them yet. You're kinda a big deal to me, if you didn't already know. Besides, who would even want to listen to my sob stories? They'd all just think I'm pathetic and clingy, and frankly, I'd have to agree. 

Pete said that my decision was fine, and that I'd find the perfect time to tell them.

Do you have any friends over there? Do you have a boyfriend? A girlfriend? An enbyfriend, even? I bet you do. I bet you love them so much. I bet you love them even more than you loved me that last month, or ever.

I bet you don't have to ask.

\- Patrick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another update for you guys tonight!  
> it's kinda hard for me to update as much as i used to bc i don't have access to a laptop/computer at the moment...  
> i hope you guys are still enjoying this!


	8. Chapter 8

25/9

Hey,

For the past few days, I've been pondering what your life must be like now. I mean, there's a million possibilities. You could be anywhere, from Amsterdam to Zimbabwe. Maybe you found your brother. Or you found someone else you know. 

I imagine you in some big city, sitting alone in some hipster venue with your glasses that I thought looked so cute on you, drinking coffee and people-watching. That's just a very Gerard Way thing to do, in my opinion.

Maybe you got a new best friend, and you hang out with them all the time, and you do all the things we did together with them. Maybe you're dating them. 

I don't like visualizing that part. It makes me want to cry.

Maybe you got a job. Maybe you work in a music store, or you teach kids how to play guitar, or you're a barista again. 

Never mind about the barista part. It reminds me too much of how we met.

Do you still remember that day? I bet you don't. 

Ugh, I'm getting off-topic, aren't I?

I hope you miss me, Gerard.

I hope you hurt as much as I do.

 - Patrick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> updating today bc mcrx!!!  
> i screamed when i found out omg


	9. Chapter 9

28/9

Gerard,

I guess I'll record how we met, so it's out of my head. It's been pestering me like a fly since last time I wrote.

Where do we begin?

I remember being really tired and irritated because I'd just gotten back from a visit to my family, and I'd gotten next to nothing in terms of sleep. Brendon had noticed, and he called me and said we should get coffee, and that would surely perk me up. I reluctantly agreed, and the next day he dragged me up to the nearest coffee shop. You were standing behind the cash register with your jagged, unruly black hair, and as soon as you saw us, a smirk broke out on your face. Brendon was your best friend, and you asked him how his life was going.

Then you looked me in the eyes, and I took in those eyes of yours for the first time. Their color perplexed me. They were brown, but they weren't the usual dark brown you usually see in people's eyes. They were a light sepia, and I found myself drowning in them. As cliché as it sounds, it's true. You introduced yourself, and I dazedly did the same, still entranced by your eyes. Brendon laughed at me, gave his order, and dragged me off to a table.

You came and gave us our coffee yourself, since no one else was there. When I went to pick mine up to drink it, I realized you'd written your number on there with your name and some little hearts. It was so cheesy, but I really liked it. I texted you as soon as I got home, and the next day we became friends.

I would say it went uphill from there, which it did, but of course I had to mess it up somehow and cause you to stop talking to me.

I'm such a fuck up, always going and ruining everything great in life. Don't you agree?

\- Patrick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thought i'd add a little, fluffy backstory :)  
> i'm gonna update a lot this week, so be ready!  
> also, would anyone be interested in a companion-ish fic from gerard's point of view or something? if so, send me a dm on here or on instagram! (@saverockandbeebo)


	10. Chapter 10

29/9

Gee,

So, today took a turn for the worst.

Pete and I were at the park for today's outing, when suddenly he got a text from Andy. Apparently something happened that he won't tell me and Andy needs help. So Pete ran off to his house and left me all alone.

I was suddenly by myself, something I never wanted to be again. My hands were shaking and tears were welling in my eyes. I couldn't do this.

Brendon, however, came out of the blue announcing my "rescue" or something like that. He took me over to his apartment, and we watched some Netflix. It was pretty relaxing. I didn't know I needed that until then.

Suddenly, Brendon gave me this look. It was weird. I'd never seen it before. He started getting closer and closer to my face, and suddenly it clicked for me.

That face was lust.

You'd never been a lustrous person, and neither had I. Our relationship was slow and steady, but not to the point where it was boring. You'd never shown that emotion, and neither had I. The fact that Brendon just had scared me to death.

He started kissing me.

I froze for a second, then shoved him away. Tears flowed down my face as I ran out of his apartment, not even bothering to close the door behind me. I cane back home, and here I am now, writing to you again. I feel kinda bad for hurting Brendon, but I don't like him in that way, and it would be even worse to lie to him. Plus, even if I did like him, the relationship would feel like a rebound, and I couldn't and wouldn't do that to Brendon. He means too much to me to just be a rebound.

I feel a lot better now, thanks to this. Writing to you has become something for me to utilize when I'm upset at all, because it feels like I'm just telling my best friend some stories about my day. I kinda forget everything you've put me through for the moment. It makes me feel peaceful and happy.

You could care less, I bet.

\- Patrick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have paint all over my hands bc i like splatter-painting  
> lets be real, brentrick's pretty great, but not for this  
> also yesterday was national girlfriend day and i found it hilarious how all my irl friends posted pics of their besties and all my internet friends posted pics of the girls they're dating. leaves room for interprettation, huh?


	11. Chapter 11

30/9

Gee,

September ends tomorrow, huh?

You better wake me up tomorrow, Gee. This better be a dream.

I still love you, you know.

I still think of you every day. Even after yesterday's incident with Brendon, I still end up thinking of you and how much I miss you and how much I fucking love you. It sucks so damn much.

Honestly, this whole thing is making me crazy. 

Writing these letters has become a new sense of normalcy for me. It's the only thing that keeps me sane. I meet up with Pete every day, and I write to you mostly every day.

It can't beat the sense of normalcy that was you, though.

\- Patrick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry for that reference at the beginning i couldn't help myself  
> im literally just binge watching hannah hoffman animations it's great ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
> have a great day!


	12. Chapter 12

1/10

Gerard,

Well, this really isn't a dream, because September has ended and no one has woken me up.

Pete's got himself a new friend on Tinder.

Well, kind of.

Not really.

He says all he knows is that his name is Mikey and he's a boy, and that he sent him a message that's earned no response yet. His profile's got no trace of his face, last name, or anything. Pete said he wants to get to know him and be friends with him at the least. I told him good luck. It's cool that Pete's trying to make friends because I'm certainly not.

I wonder if you went to your family. I've got no idea if you've got any family left, but if there is anyone, I hope that they treat you well.

\- Patrick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooooh new character  
> i know it's easy to figure it out but i'm not putting him in the tags yet


	13. Chapter 13

15/10

Gerard,

So, Pete found out more about Mikey. He lives in New York, he lives with his brother, and he plays the bass. I don't know how he got a Tinder date from New York, but then again I don't know how Tinder works at all.

What if you're with him?

I almost cried again over this thought.

Pete said he'll look more into him and who he is.

I feel so gullible, listening to every single thing he says. It makes me feel as if I've lost my inner voice and can no longer make decisions for myself. It hurts so much, Gee. 

I hope you know that when you left, you took a part of me with you, and the rest of me is screaming for it to come back. 

\- Patrick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> quick update for you guys bc you all deserve another one!


	14. Chapter 14

16/10

Gee,

Apparently, you are in New York with Mikey, your brother.

Your brother!

I'm still kind of in shock, and I found out three hours ago.

I'm just so ecstatic, because I know that you're okay. I know that you're with someone you can trust.

Maybe we can contact each other and see what lives we've left since we parted ways.

Maybe we can reconnect and try to be at least friends again.

If you want to, that is. I won't force you to be friends with me.

Anyways, I'm letting Pete handle this for now. I'll wait for the right time to talk to Mikey about you.

 - Patrick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oops i forgot to post this chapter even tho it was done -_-*  
> anyways, i gotta go to school in three days, so hopefully i can finish by then. we'll see.


	15. Chapter 15

25/10

Gerard,

I've chosen to try to get Pete to let me talk to Mikey tomorrow.

I decided that I need to get over the past and try to better the future, y'know? Nothing's gonna change if I don't try. As much as it sounds like an inspirational cat poster, it's definitely true.

They've been talking over ooVoo recently, so I'll get to see your face and hear your voice. That's one major point for me, if I'm being honest. I get to re-indulge in the beauty that is you.

I'm pretty nervous though. I don't know what you're gonna say to me. What if you still hate me? What if you still don't want to talk to me? What if Mikey won't even let me talk to you?

Wish me luck, I guess.

\- Patrick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this one was so short. :( the next one will be longer, i promise.


	16. Chapter 16

26/10

"Here, here's Mikey," Pete introduces. "Mikey, this is Patrick. He knows your brother." Pete hands Patrick his phone and gives him a reassuring smile, mouthing 'You've got this' and stepping back from the situation.

Staring back at him is a guy with blonde hair. He looks a bit younger than Gerard, but the expression on his face is a lot more mature than anything he's seen before. Mikey looks him over for a second, as if he was inspecting him like a parent inspecting their daughter's first boyfriend. 

He then smiles lightly. "Hey there. I assume you might want to talk to Gerard?" he asks, his tone reminding Patrick of a receptionist. It's almost calming, and it makes him feel like this is all going to go just fine.

"Well, I mean," Patrick begins, almost stumbling over his words, "if it's okay?" He doesn't want to make Mikey think that he isn't needed at all, partly because Pete won't hesitate to slit his throat if – no, when – he finds out.

Mikey nods. "Sure, hold on. I don't know if he's awake or not." The phone was then set down and Patrick was left to stare at the ceiling. After a bit, Patrick heard a faint groan, and his breath hitched in fear. Was Mikey forcing Gerard to talk to him? Just as Patrick started to validate his doubts, he heard pounding footsteps - was someone running? - and Gerard, much louder this time, yelling "Where?", and Patrick's mind went into overdrive, spitting questions and theories at a hundred miles an hour. 

He can hear Mikey sigh as he picks up the phone. "Okay, he's right - Gerard, calm down! He's right here! Anyways, here's Gerard, Patrick. Have fun. Use protection." Before Patrick can point out that you couldn't have sex via phone, a wild flash of red comes onto the screen. 

It's Gerard. He looks exactly the same as he had before he'd left except for his newly dyed bright red hair and a sufficient lack of eyeliner. Patrick has to fight to hold back tears as he watches Gerard's facial expression change from excitement to shock, and he feels all of his insecurities flood back to him. Patrick notices a single tear run down the side of Gerard's face, however, and he watches the corners of his mouth slowly curl into a coy smile. Time seems to stop for the both of them; not a single thing besides the two men having any importance at all. 

"I missed you," Patrick whispers, afraid that if he gets any louder, the moment will shatter like glass.

"I missed you too," Gerard says just as quietly. Suddenly, he starts sobbing. "I-I'm so s-sorry!" he cries out. He raises a hand to wipe his tears away, and Patrick just wishes he could do it for him. "I-I-I sh-should've... I... I-I'm such a b-bad boyfriend, P-Pat, I-I'm sorry! I'm sorry..." 

Patrick looks at Gerard's image concernedly. He just lets his mind take charge and tell the redhead that it was going to be fine, that it didn't matter at the moment. His heart breaks a little, but he keeps talking. 

They talk about everything you could imagine, Mikey occasionally adding on from some unseen angle. Gerard suddenly has to go though, due to Mikey's phone on the verge of dying. Patrick waves goodbye, even thought he doesn't want this to end. The call ends and Patrick turns to Pete, tears of joy welling in his eyes. "He's okay," he chokes out, starting to cry. Pete walks over and engulfs him in a hug, and Patrick just sobs into Pete's shirt until he passes out from exhaustion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i can't think of anything to say other than i hope you liked this. i don't usually write in present-tense so i hope i did okay.  
> btw this is dangerdays!gerard, dangerdays!mikey, and posthiatus!patrick.  
> edit: omg i have edited this so many times im deaD


	17. Chapter 17

9/11

Gee,

I'm so excited for this weekend!

We've been texting and ooVooing ever since that first call, and I've been so much better since. The smile you so dearly missed has returned to my face, and frankly, I missed it too.

Yesterday, I overheard Pete talking to Mikey about airfare. I wasn't sure why until this morning.

You woke me up with a call. I'm never gonna admit that out loud, but it's fine. Besides, I love waking up to your voice. Your eyes gleamed with eagerness, and your smile was a mile wide. "Guess what?" you asked me, barely containing your excitement.

I smiled at you. "What is it, Gee?"

"I got a few jobs a couple months ago, and I've been saving all my money, and now I finally have enough!"

I raised my eyebrow. "Enough for what?"

You were smiling so big that your eyes squinted. "Enough for me to come back to you, baby."

My hand shot to my mouth and I almost dropped my phone out of shock. "Oh my god, Gee," I whispered, starting to cry out of joy. "I would hug you right now!" You smiled, wiping away your own tears "Oh my gosh, oh my gosh!" I squealed. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Pete standing there and watching, smiling. _So he was in on it..._ I thought. Honestly it doesn't matter.

"Wait, when are you coming?" I asked.

You smiled a little more. "Is Friday okay?"

I cried even more. "It would be perfect."

It really will be, Gee.

It really will.

\- Patrick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao i finally came back from the dead  
> i know what i'm doing and everything  
> hopefully this'll be done before christmas bc christmas is vv busy


	18. Chapter 18

10/11

Gee, 

My mind's revolving around tomorrow.

I've done so much to get ready for it. I cleaned the house, got a haircut, all that stuff.

I imagine our reunion all the time.

You're walking through the airport, searching for a familiar face, when we lock eyes. You run and hug me and kiss me and we're both crying but it's beautiful. People stare, some disgusted, but it doesn't matter. The world around us melts away. It's just us. We stay like that for what feels like forever; it feels like it's already tomorrow when we let go. Then we walk off to who knows where, doing who knows what. It doesn't matter. All that matters is that we're together.

I'm so excited, Gee.

\- Patrick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my plan for these last few chapters is literally a bunch of random crap in comic sans on a ms word document  
> we'll make it work lmao


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow the notes are at the beginning this time omg  
> (mostly bc i don't wanna say anything at the end)  
> but yeah next chapters the last one D: ima miss this book   
> enjoy :))

11/11

I don't have anything to say.

This morning, you posted a picture on Instagram of you with your plane tickets. A big smile on your face, you were standing underneath the flight gate. Flight 791. Rochester, New York to San Francisco. You'd be here this afternoon. _'So excited to see my love,'_ the caption read. _'It's been too long.._ ❤️ _'_ I smiled to myself. You've always been so cheesy. I brewed some coffee and wished that the afternoon would come quicker.

I spent the day spot-cleaning the house. I may have been a little too OCD about it, but I didn't really care.

Now, it's nearing the final hour. You'd be here in 60 short minutes. The airport's 45 minutes away, so I start getting ready. I brush my hair, put on a hat, and put on the necklace with your guitar pick on it. I walk out to the kitchen to grab my keys and leave. Just as I pick them up, someone bangs on the door. I put the keys down and opened it. It was Pete. He looked slightly distressed. "Oh hey Pete-" I began but was quickly interrupted.

"Turn on the TV. Now," he orders.

"Why-" I start to question but Pete cuts me off again.

"Patrick, you need to see it." Pete's brown eyes are dead serious.

I sigh and do as he said. The news channel was the first to come on. It showed a picture of a big wreck of what used to be an airplane in the middle of a open field, ferocious flames spewing from it. The unseen news anchor was talking about how terrible this tragedy was and giving all the stats: how many passengers, how many crew members, where the plane crashed. My eyes wander to the headline. FLIGHT 791 CRASHES IN NEVADA FIELD - KILLS 116

_Flight 791._

The news anchor states that there were no survivors and keeps going on and on, but I don't hear the rest. All I can think is that Gerard Arthur Way is dead.

_Gee's dead._

I'll never see him again.

I collapse onto the floor, convulsing with sobs. Pete takes a second to notice, but when he does, he drops down beside me, rubbing my back.

"He's gone, he's gone, he's gone," I sob. "Oh my god, he's gone."

Pete says some things in an attempt to soothe me, but it doesn't work. 

"He's gone," I repeat, grabbing my hair and almost pulling it out. 

"I know, Trick," Pete says sadly, "but-"

"He's gone," I say yet again, this time starting to scream. "He's gone forever, AND IT'S ALL MY FAULT!"

"No, no, no, it's not!" Pete's trying so hard to calm me down. I'll always respect him for that, but there's no end to this. I feel my sanity slipping of of my grasp like sand running through your fingers. 

"IF I HADN'T FUCKED UP, THIS WOULD'VE NEVER HAPPENED!" I scream. "HE'D STILL BE HERE IF IT WEREN'T FOR ME!"

Pete's taken aback, I can tell. My screaming is worse than his ever was, even back when he was in his punk band in high school.

"It's all my fault," I choke out, my voice hoarse. He draws me closer to him, and I don't protest it. I don't have enough energy to.

I spend the rest of the day crying on the floor with Pete's arms wrapped around me, and I end up falling asleep from exhausting myself.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: this part deals with suicide

12/11

**(pete's pov)**

I wake up to the sun blinding me and not much else. Then I realize I'm on the floor in Patrick's apartment, and all of yesterday comes flooding back. I remember the headlines, Patrick's sobbing, the utter shock of it all. 

 _Gosh,_ I think to myself.  _I wonder how Mikey's coping with this. Hopefully not as bad as Patrick._

_Wait, where is Patrick?_

He was in my arms last night, and suddenly he's gone. I consider looking around his apartment for him, but I remember how much he despises people going through his place, so I drop the idea and head home, hoping that poor Patrick isn't in trouble. I get in my car and sit there for a few minutes, watching another car pull up a few spots down.

Honestly, I've got this terrible feeling about this. It's this heavy, ominous, gut-wrenching feeling that something's not gonna go as I hope it will. That something will go terribly wrong, and there'll be no way to fix it. I hate thinking so much about it. I put on some Queen and focus on Freddie Mercury's vocals, letting it rid my mind of such sinister thoughts.

~~::~~

It's noon now. I haven't done much of anything, mostly since I haven't felt like doing much of anything. I've only laid on the couch and aimlessly watched Netflix. 

Suddenly, my phone starts ringing. It's an unknown number, but I pick up anyways.

"Hello? Is this Peter Wentz?" A soft yet urgent voice asks.

"Yeah, why?'

"Um, this is Tyler. I'm, um, an EMT for the Rochester Regional Hospital." Tyler was clearly nervous. "We, um... we have you down as one of Patrick Stump's emergency contacts. Is that correct?"

My eyebrows raise. "Yeah... Why?'

"Your friend, Patrick, um..." He paused for a moment. "Patrick tried to kill himself."

I gasp. "W-what?"

"He overdosed on pain medications. His friend Joseph Trohman found him unconscious in his bedroom." 

"Oh my god," I mutter. It all makes sense. Patrick wasn't there because he was in his room. Joe was in that car that pulled up beside me.

"You can come to the hospital if you wish; however, Joseph-" He's interrupted by a voice in the background. "Hm? Oh, I apologize." He starts again. "However, you don't have to because we do have Joe with us."

I mutter an okay. Tyler apparently can tell how sad I am. "I'm sorry for your loss. It seemed like you were great friends with Patrick, from what I heard from Joe. Just, don't blame yourself. I should know. I went through the same thing a few years ago with my boyfriend at the time."

I smile a tiny bit. "Thanks Tyler."

You can practically hear Tyler grin. "That's my job."

An hour later, I arrive at the hospital. The short-haired receptionist smiles sympathetically. She's got the I-know-someone-that-you-care-about-is-suffering-and-I'm-sorry look down. "Hi," she says, not too perkily, but not too bland either. She's pretty, but I have other business to take care of. "Who are you visiting today?"

"Um, Patrick Stump?"

"Oh, Room 5D. Second floor. Take a right as soon as you get out of the elevator. I'll alert Dr. Dun that you're on your way." She hits a few keys on her computer. "I'm  going to need your name."

"Oh, uh, Pete. It's Pete."

"Great. Pete." She types some more, clicking something once she's done. She waits for a few seconds, then turns to me. "Dr. Dun knows you're coming."

"Okay, thanks, uh..."  I look at her nametag. _ASHLEY_ , it reads. "Ashley." She cringes a little at the use of her name. "Oh, uh, is that wrong?"

"I prefer Halsey, but you're fine. It's your first time. I'll let you slide." She smiles. "Now go on your way. You don't want to keep your friend waiting."

"Thanks, Halsey."

She smiles again, running her hand through her teal hair. "No problem."

The elevator ride is a short one. I go the way Halsey told me to go. There's his room. His name's written on a whiteboard by the door in handwriting that's messy yet systematic.  _Overdose_ is written underneath it. I sigh and knock on the door.

A guy with unruly purple hair and a white doctor's coat, presumably that Dr. Dun that Halsey mentioned, opens the door. His face is comforting. "Oh, so you must be Pete. I'm Dr. Dun, but you can call me Josh." 

"Okay, thanks Josh."

"Now, with Patrick, he has so many painkillers in his system. I know this is super cliche, but there is pretty much no chance he'll make it. Say, which EMT did you talk to?"

"Uh, Tyler. Why?"

"Oh good. He does really well with this kind of stuff."

"Yeah. He's amazing, isn't he?"

Josh's cheeks tinge red, and he looks down for a second, a grin surfacing on his face. "Yeah..." He shakes his head. "Anyways, Joseph already left, so I'll leave you alone with him, okay?" 

"Okay, Josh. Thanks."

"It's my pleasure." He smiles a little and lets me in, closing the door behind me.

Patrick's laying on the cot. His skin's sickly pale, and his eyes look glued shut. You can still see tear stains on his face. I sit beside him and grasp his hand.

"Patrick," I start, sighing, "oh Patrick, if you can hear me. I'm so, so sorry for not finding you like this, for just leaving you alone to your own devices. I'm a shitty friend, I know. But I love you so much. So does Joe. And Andy. And Bren. And your family. And, god, even Mikey. Mikey was so thrilled about you and Gee. He said he was looking forward to having you as a brother-in-law. But, Patrick, why'd you do this to me? To all of us? You believe this is what Gee'd want, to reunite with you, but really he'd want you to move on and live your life to the fullest. Oh my god, Trick, you're scaring me. I love you so much. You're the b-best friend I've ever had." I fell something wet on my hand, and I realize I'm crying. 

Suddenly, Patrick's heart rate picks up a bit. His mouth opens, and he croaks out two words.

"Thanks Pete."

_Beeeeep..._

His heart monitor flatlines.

Patrick Stump is gone.

 

 

 

**end.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (dr. dun is literally the funniest thing to write wtf)  
> but jokes aside, this was such an amazing and emotional 5188 words to write and i'm so glad you guys were here to read.  
> thank you for following this story and dealing with my slow af updates and my weird notes.  
> also thanks @LeoValdezLover1 for the idea of jishwa and tyjo being in here see i didn't kill them off :))  
> ily all so much :))  
> stay alive.


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